At the beginning of the end I stand still and stair into the last days of this age, with very little understanding of what waits for me after these days. I plea with these last moments not to make me go, I long for the security of what is familiar and what I know. They apologize with confidence and assure that the time has indeed come to move on. 

“How can one know where to go next when all you know is that the next chpater of life lies somewhere within this deep and seemingly endless void that they call the future?” I ask them. They do not respond….. and yet somehow I know what they’re answer would be as if it were my own. Look for him, they would say, even though you can’t see, he will find you and take you by the hand when the void seems to be at its darkest, and you seem to have no where else to go. We have seen many come through this way, and no one is ever lost forever, especially those who look for him. 

But why must it be so dark? I asked. Why alone? Isn’t there another way?  a lighter path?…… still they spoke no words. And yet this time there were no words. It was as if in this moments words themselves didn’t exist, and yet it I felt like I had known all along, like a legend that has been passed down for years. This is just the way it had to be. It was always going to be this way, there never was a lighter path, there never was an easier root. Not for me at least. This was just the way it had to be, no one knows why until after you’ve finished the journey, only then will you ever even know what the path has looked like a long. 

However, his did not satisfy my worry. Even though I new all this to be true, the uncertainty still seemed unbearably terrifying. Finally they spoke again. It was like hearing music for the first time, like I had only just now been given ears to hear, and yet I felt the words in my soul. 

Worry not young one. He knows of the fear you have for this darkness, and your worry about the uncertainty. But fear not, he has traveled your path for you already, He knows where you need to go. You might not always right on the right path, he’ll make sure you get where you need to. And even when you’re sure he has left you, and you absolutely most be completely alone, he’s still there. Just look for him, call to him, he will help you when he knows you need it. 

Although my fear still remained, somehow I knew, like it was obvious. That it was going to be ok. 

“Come,” they said. “You still have a few more steps in this leg of your Journey, we will come with you to the end there.” As I neared the end things got louder and louder with distraction, voices and visions telling what to do, where to go, how to do it. “No that way is to dark, you’ll never make it over there,” I heard a voice scream in my ear. 

Then as I stood on the edge, my last moments of familiar life behind me pushing me forward, this dark void called future in front of me, and the voices still all around me screaming to turn back.

As I stood there, feeling more alone then ever, one single tear of fear rolled down my face, but before I could feel it leave my cheek I felt someone grab my hand, and I heard a whisper, it was a beautiful sound, like sun setting, or a calming breeze. I felt the whisper rap around my whole body as if it were holding me, it said, “don’t be afraid, I’m with you, I always have been, and I wont leave you. I love you.”

And just as soon as I heard it he was gone. I looked to see him, but he was no where to be found, and yet I knew he was there. I knew then who I could know it was going to be ok, even though from where I was standing it didn’t look like it, with him standing with me, it was.  

Advertisement